Happy

I’m finding myself in a strange place of wanting to write (and often do in other media), but not really having the time and sometimes energy to do so since I’ve been busy living my life. I’m working again (WOOHOO!!), and my days off are often spent with Husband Darling making sure we are connecting on a regular basis or doing mundane but essential tasks that need to be addressed. The best part of it all is I’m feeling really good emotionally and physically, better than I have in far too long. To paraphrase Husband Darling from one of our recent heart-to-heart conversations, I’m closer to the Me I was when he and I first met–vivacious, fun, and bouncy.

I’ve started a few posts that get more into the whys and wherefores and will be posting as I get them completed. In the meantime I want to share this video that a long-time friend of mine posted on FB a short while ago. I think I found my new favorite musical group. Enjoy, my freaky darlings!

My Life, My Choice

I was already going to be writing this post today about choices when That Human Woman linked this article. Go ahead and click the link. I don’t mind if you read it first. I’ll wait.

The weather this past week has been absolutely gorgeous. Sunshine every day. Clear skies. Temperatures reaching mid to upper 70s. I believe we might have even seen over 80 a time or two. This makes me very happy. While I’ve never been diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affected disorder) officially, I have noticed over the past several years especially that lack of sunshine can seriously put a damper on my good mood. I take vitamin D supplements six months out of the year to help mitigate my symptoms. The lovely weather started me thinking about my current circumstances and what led me to get here.

Flashback about 20 years ago when I was a couple years out of high school. I had finished my two year degree at community college, and I had yet to decide if and where I’d go to get my Bachelor’s degree. I was unemployed and felt directionless. My then roommate had started doing this New Age hippie dippy group therapy thing. At first I was pretty skeptical, but I saw the changes in her. Good ones. I decided to check it out and eventually signed up. It was worth every penny and gut-wrenching moment to purge so many of my childhood hangups.

One particular nugget of inspiration stuck with me for years. I found it so profound that when I was teaching at a local massage college, I passed it on to my students.

You cannot always control your circumstances, however you CAN always control how you feel and how you respond.

Translation? You always have a CHOICE, even if what brings you to make that choice is beyond your control. Let me repeat that. You always have a choice.

You choose how you feel about what is happening in your life.

You choose how you will act in response to the situation you are in.

You choose.

Or in this case, I choose. This is my life, and I get to choose how I live it. I get to choose how to feel about what happens in my life. My life, my choice. I made a choice just a short week (!!) ago to change my circumstances. I made a choice to get the help I needed. I made a choice to dig myself out of the depression I am in. I made a choice to let my husband in and be my rock. I made a choice to be Happy.

I’m not saying there won’t be difficult days ahead. Just a few days ago I woke up with fewer spoons than I would’ve liked, but I chose to pull up my bootstraps and get on with my day despite the fatigue and pain. I went outside for some sun therapy, and you know what? It helped. I felt better.

Today I woke up with my body protesting all the increased activity, and my brain was still foggy. The sky was overcast, and there’s evidence of rainfall from last night. I chose to be happy this morning anyway. That Human Woman is coming over later to guide me through sewing new garb for myself and Kidlet. I had a lovely day yesterday with Boyfling and his kids walking the waterfront. We ran into my other boyfriend, Tek, while we were out. He text me later that seeing me made his day. I made Elixir of Life this morning, and my brain fog is clearing. I likely won’t be quite as physically active today, but I’m looking forward to doing projects I have planned.

Today is going to be awesome because I choose it to be.

P.S.–What are you choosing today? Please comment below and share…if you choose. 😉