Phoenix in Flight

The last of my back tattoo has finally been completed today. It’s been a grueling, yet healing experience over this past year. At a couple of points during today’s session I needed Jesse to stop so I could regroup and begin meditating again. The places on my back that were so very tender just a few short months ago have let go of the tension and pain it once held onto so tightly. One of the best and most important lessons I learned from the Unicorn was fine tuning my meditation. I haven’t yet returned to daily meditation, but that will be changing soon.

I’m so glad Husband Darling came with me today despite only getting a few hours of sleep after getting home from work this morning. He held my hand, made sure I had rose quartz in the other, and talked me through the rougher patches. I’m so grateful to him for being my anchor. I could have pushed through today without him, but his grounding presence made all the difference between being somewhat tired or feeling wiped out at the end.

Once my back fully heals, I’ll be posting pictures of the final results. Jesse is an amazing artist, and I can’t gush enough about him! I am deeply honored to wear his art on my body. My phoenix is beautiful and everything I had envisioned a couple of years ago when I caught of glimpse of what she would be in the mirror as I passed by. Look out, Universe! The Phoenix is about to take flight.

Reflections on 2014

I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything to my blog. I’ve spent most of 2014 with my head down and regrouping after the demise of the 4-corner relationship Husband Darling and I were in. Becoming a hermit was quite appealing for a time, but I also knew that what I truly needed was to withdraw from my very active social life to work on myself again. I had ignored my spiritual self for far too long. I realized I had taken a wrong turn on my life path and found myself lost. I asked the Universe for help with my spirituality and went back to where I knew I was happy–healing others. So I got my license and resume in order.

I applied at the place where I had been receiving massage for the past few years. The clinic administrator had already put forth a soft offer for me to work for her if other places didn’t work out for me. The day I dropped off my resume, I had an impromptu interview with the CA and the regional manager who happened to be in the clinic that day. I also did my practical (giving massage) to the RM then. I gave them my availability and was told to come back in three days for training. I started the following week and have been at that clinic for nearly a year now. I’ve amassed a loyal following in a very short time. By the time mid-September hit, not only was the rest of the month booked but so was the entire month of October! Most of my clients are regulars. Admittedly I have a few favorites, including a pregnant woman who is having her first child after many years of her and her husband trying to get pregnant. Oh! How I love working with expecting mothers! There is nothing more beautiful in my eyes than a woman pregnant with child.

Healing others has been my calling for well over a decade now. Being able to help others heal their bodies is gratifying and humbling. There are days when I’d rather be home because I am tired or want to spend more time with Husband Darling, but the pull of my clients motivates me to go. I am one of the lucky few who absolutely loves their job. The human body is endlessly fascinating, and I simply don’t get bored (unless someone just wants to be petted for their entire session). The unexpected bonus from working my very physical job is that I’ve lost inches throughout the trunk of my body.

Accepting my body has been a lifetime achievement. Once I had Kidlet my modesty button was pretty much removed. Hard to feel embarrassed when several people are looking and poking at my vagina before, during, and after labor. One of the things I taught my massage students is the sooner and more completely you can feel comfortable in your own skin, the better therapist you will be. Clients will be able to tell if you have body issues. Touch does not lie. If you feel uncomfortable, so will they. Moving regularly for hours at a time sculpted my body. When my bestie got engaged as asked me to be one of her matrons of honor, I set out to find a dress. I found something I liked online and went to the brick and mortar store to try it on. I knew I had lost weight/inches but not how much. I was amazed to discover I had dropped two dress sizes! I still get asked what I did to lose weight. I’ll even give all here my secret to successful weight loss:

  •  Belief that my job was good exercise so I should lose weight/inches.
  • Embracing a positive mental attitude.

That’s it. I really haven’t changed too much else in my life. I’ve been slowly changing over the years eating habits and healthier food choices. Working a physical job has helped me rebuild my strength and endurance. The pain I’ve been living with for years has lessened. More than anything else I’ve done, I fully believe that it’s my change of attitude that’s done the most good. I decide whether or not I’m going to have a good day. More often than not I wake up on the Awesome Side of the bed. When others ask me how I’m doing, my answer is almost always positive in some way. I stopped focusing so much on the bad and started focusing more on the good. I’m amused by the typical response of silence as they take that in or wait for the “bad news” that rarely comes. I’ve noticed that more and more of those who are closer to me have started focusing on what’s positive in their lives as well. Our conversations are usually full of happy news or troubleshooting problems instead of bitching about what’s wrong in our lives. I’m loving this trend! I’ve continued being positive even through social media. When I find myself answering someone’s post with anger or resentment, I scrap the whole thing unless I can find a positive, non-confrontational way to respond.

The nifty thing about social media is I’ve been able to meet and friend many wonderful people over the years. As I’ve told Husband Darling some of my Heart Family are people I simply haven’t met in person yet. In early November I picked up a few new followers on Twitter. One person in particular I was interacting with regularly almost from the start. He and his wife were somewhat new to polyamory and had been coming to meetups here in the Portland area for awhile now. My internet 6th sense kicked in and told me these were Good People. I offered to meet with them on a Friday after work, and we did. I immediately liked both of them and wondered if they’d be open to hugs, because as some of you know I’m a very huggy person. Lucky for me I didn’t even have to ask because Q’ouarin (the husband) asked me first. He hugs the way I love–full body and with enthusiasm.

From there forward things moved fast between us. We had our first date November 28th. Uty (the wife) and Q spent the long weekend over Christmas with us. Yes, Scrooge McKitten got over the bah! humbug! of the holidays and actually got into the Yule spirit. And remember when I stated earlier that I had asked the Universe for spiritual guidance? Yeah, that came in the form of Q’ouarin as well. He is a unicorn otherkin (more on this in a future post) and was looking for someone like me himself. The Universe answered us both, and boy! has it been a wild ride so far!

My life has changed and is changing rapidly for the better in just a few short weeks. I’m back on my chosen path of being Love and Light and expect I likely won’t recognize the person I am now in a year. I’m planning to write more, do more, and be more in the next year. I’m looking forward to all the exciting changes 2015 promises to bring.

It’s a new life for me

Every year I see and hear people say how the previous year was horrible or otherwise not positive. All the challenges that the Universe brings us are simply lessons to be learned in order to move forward. I cannot change my past, but I can learn from it and go forward hopefully a little wiser and with more discernment into my future. 2013 was a year of many lessons for me, and I go forth into 2014 with what I was taught through my experiences–good, bad, or indifferent–and hope that I meet each new lesson with grace and kindness. It’s a new day, a new year, a new life, and you know what? I AM feeling good.

10 Happy Thoughts

A few years ago a friend introduced the idea of 10 Happy Thoughts every day to me. When he was younger struggling with type 1 diabetes and depression, his father suggested he look for positive things every day. “Something that made you smile,” as he challenged my friend to find ten of these moments throughout the day. I loved the idea of that challenge, and so for a few months I sought happy moments of my daily life to list. Some days finding ten, and even beyond, was easy. Some days I’m rather hard-pressed to find more than three. Lately I’ve found myself focusing far too much on the negative aspects of my life, so I decided to take this challenge back up and start focusing on the good things in my life.

Here’s today for 12 July 2013:

1. Waking up to kitty snuggles with my birthday girl. (Happy 10th, my princess Phoebe!)
2. Things that improve my health.
3. Finishing a blog post.
4. Being told I improve someone’s life daily via Twitter.
5. Making noms that others enjoy and request.
6. Dinner plans with my SweetBee and her dad.
7. Experiments in baking.
8. Helping two friends with a single connection.
9. Getting to chat with my baby sister.
10. Texts from my Boo.

Yes, it can be just that simple. Some of these I experience daily, but that doesn’t make them any less positive in my life. My challenge for myself is to post these daily. I’ve given Kidlet the challenge of writing three per day. So far she’s yet to take me up on it, but maybe she just thinks I’m being a doof. Or maybe she needs to see her best friend lead by example.

PS–What things made you smile today? If you want to join me in my challenge, feel free to leave your daily list in the comments or post them to your own blog.

UPDATE: I reissued this challenge to my Kidlet yesterday shortly after posting this, and she took it. She even came out with a list of 10 herself.  Guess she did need me to lead by example. Parenting win!