Happy

I’m finding myself in a strange place of wanting to write (and often do in other media), but not really having the time and sometimes energy to do so since I’ve been busy living my life. I’m working again (WOOHOO!!), and my days off are often spent with Husband Darling making sure we are connecting on a regular basis or doing mundane but essential tasks that need to be addressed. The best part of it all is I’m feeling really good emotionally and physically, better than I have in far too long. To paraphrase Husband Darling from one of our recent heart-to-heart conversations, I’m closer to the Me I was when he and I first met–vivacious, fun, and bouncy.

I’ve started a few posts that get more into the whys and wherefores and will be posting as I get them completed. In the meantime I want to share this video that a long-time friend of mine posted on FB a short while ago. I think I found my new favorite musical group. Enjoy, my freaky darlings!

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Life Ain’t Always Beautiful

This week has been one of many breakthroughs and aha! moments for me. I’ve had a sense of relief to finally completely let go of an old skin that never quite fit me and thought I had shed long ago. I’ve also been mourning the loss of something I never had and now fully understand that I never will. Life has been bittersweet of late.

Music has always been an intrinsic part of my life. I’ve always been able to find a song at any given point in my life that fits the situation perfectly. I haven’t been able to listen to anything melancholy while coping with my depression, but I had the urge to pop in an old CD I burned several years ago into my car stereo. When this song came on I knew I needed to hear it again with the new perspective I had gained so recently. The words of the chorus hit home, and that’s when I truly knew that I would be okay. I still have work to do, but I no longer carry the burden that weighed me down for so long. I know that I’ll be fine.

PS–What music has influenced your life? If you could create a soundtrack to your life, what songs would you choose? Please comment below. I’d love to know what music moves you.

Jamais la rose sans la piqûre….

My favorite color for roses is peach. A very warm and loving hue for me. I mentioned this to my mother sometime in my teens. She smiled and told me that my father brought her peach colored roses when I was born. Apparently, my shade preference was imprinted very early on in my life. Of course I learned later in life that roses were of a dangerous sort of beauty with their thorny stems. If you don’t handle them carefully, you’re liable to be pricked and bleed.

I can think of other metaphors to compare Life and Love, but I resonate most with roses. The blooms are sweet-smelling and the petals are velvety to the touch. Is there nothing more sweet-smelling than a freshly-bathed baby? (Okay, not everyone thinks so, but I know plenty of parents and grandparents who do!) And such soft velvety skin newborns have! *melt* Oh, and the fuzzy pink stupids of new relationship energy (NRE) when you first meet that special new person. So shiny! So lovely! Their shit doesn’t stink yet! Yet…. There’s always a ‘yet’….
You weren’t paying too close attention when you picked up that rose. Ouch! Pricked by a thorn. You got a little hasty. Ouch! Another thorn. You knocked over the vase and attempted to catch it. Ouch! Scratches up and down your arms, not to mention broken glass and water splashed everywhere. All you parents and caregivers know about the bumps, bruises, bruised egos, broken arms, broken hearts, bad colds & flus, bad grades, and other ailments between infancy and adulthood. For those who haven’t spawned or are in charge of rugrats, I’m certain you remember some of your own, or at least wish your cousin would quit telling that embarrassing story about the time you bounced her head off a trampoline in a fit of pubescent hormonal rage (yes, this really happened and frankly, I’m still mortified nearly 30 years later). Finally comes the day when the shiny has worn off and the cute little habits like leaving the cap off the toothpaste or not cleaning up after making a sammich are not so cute. You got a little carried away, no condom was used, and now there’s a pregnancy scare and/or STI test results pending. You get knocked up after only three months of being together, and that’s when you discover he’s a raging alcoholic in denial and a pathological liar. You finally leave when he becomes abusive and you fear for your infant’s safety as well as your own.
Yes, that last example also really happened, but that’s a story for another post.
Life has it’s ups and downs. Same goes for Love and relationships. There is Pleasure, as well as Pain. Hopefully, during those sweet-smelling, warm, and loving times when everything is coming up roses, we are mindful of the thorns and handle the pokes and scratches with Grace and gentleness as to minimize the bleeding.
 
Jamais la rose sans la piqûre…. Never the rose without the prick….